Have you ever been to a shopping centre carpark and studied human behaviour?
Well, maybe you should. Take popcorn with you, too, because it’s better than a comedy. I love the people who park their trolley in the garden bed right near the trolley bay, and say, “That’s keeping someone employed,” and walk off like Russell Crow in Gladiator, chest puffed out.
Or the ones that just leave the trolley in the middle of a car spot, just so they can really stuff everyone’s day up. The ironic thing, however, is that people are so lazy they actually navigate around it then park and squeeze the door open rather than actually getting out of the car and moving it. Then there are those who do move it; you’d hope to the trolley bay, but nup, it ends up in the garden bed ahead of the grand parking spot. 👍.
Have you seen the people who shove 10 kids in a trolley and drive like they stole it? The kids are hanging on for a grim life. Mum may lose one, but she just grabs the kid by the back of the jumper, lifts it up like a crane, and shoves it back in without missing a step or beat. You gotta get that last hot chook, or dinner ain’t served.
I always, without fail, get the trolley with the wonky wheel, and by the time I have finished the shop, I feel like I have lifted weights in my upper body. I have spent the last 40 minutes continually correcting it and praying to God that I don’t hit a shelf or human.
Off track for just a second. Is it just me, or is there a training course to open one of those clear plastic bags for fruit and veggies? I love watching people spit into them to open them, then decide they don’t actually want that bag and shove it back on the shelf between the oranges and apples.
Then you have the child that continually cries from isle 1 to 14, and the parent almost disconnects the child’s arm from their shoulder blade. Remember in the old days when your Mum would say, “keep crying and I will give you something to cry over?” Or if she was like mine, “I will knock you into next year!!” Mums have a beautiful knack for showing love.
I actually feel sorry for items (one left) sitting on a big shelf all by itself. I feel really compelled to purchase it, even if I don’t want – feta filled capsicum fermented in soy sauce, I still feel compelled to take it and give it a good home.
Are you one of those people who stick everything in order on the conveyor belt at the checkout, just to hear the groans behind you and the “hurry the $#&@ ups”? I am one of those people—frozen with frozen, label up, facing the right way; I really make lots of friends at checkouts. However, I think by the end of it, I need a Doctor to pull the checkout from where people tell me to place it.
So, there you have it, the behaviour of the human race at a shopping centre; oh, last but not least, you get back to the car and 75 people have parked next to you, even if you are up the back, I am telling you, it’s like cars have an inner magnet.
Yes, I know this is 5 minutes of your life you will never get back.
